Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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