its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
