You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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