i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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