Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
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