he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
