I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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