You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
