I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
