Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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