My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
