I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
