I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize