took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
