You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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