You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
