I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
