If i come over, it means nothing
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
