Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
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