I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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