dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
why do cheetos always look like penises
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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