So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
