out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
