I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize