Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
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