They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
