Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize