I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
