Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
