We're like a lot better than the average bears
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
