Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
