my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize
