i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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