totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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