If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize