Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
