Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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