dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
