yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
