My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
