The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
