it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Randomize
