forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
