I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
