first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
