its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize