so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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