I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
