don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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