I got chris browned last night
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
