Actions speak louder than pants.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
His nipple licking is glorious
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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