just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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