It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
