Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
