I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
