I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
