So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
