i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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