Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Panties = found
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