Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm really busy with my period
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