I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I supernannyed him into submission
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
