Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize